This Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Trailer Can Go Straight to Hell!

Look at this amazing, beautiful thing.

Nintendo released this trailer last week, to commemorate their fake holiday “MAR10 Day.” (Mario Day, for those who are not Nintendo-ically inclined).

Just typing that out made a little part of my brain die.

It’s a wonderful trailer! Everything about it makes me want to play the game right now. I didn’t play Mario Kart 8 on the Wii U because I had already sold my system by the time it came out. So everything on display here is new and exciting to me. And it seems to have a good chunk of new stuff for people who did play the original version.

I’ve been a pretty big Mario Kart fan since the original game, although I have a particular soft spot for Mario Kart 64. I’ve purchased every game (save for 8) on launch and played them copiously. Weirdly, I play a ton of the game in single player, even though it’s equally known for its competitive modes.

So now, after seeing this truly epic 5-minute trailer, I really want to play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe.

Here’s the problem.

It’s on the Switch.

There are no Switches to be had.

Come on Nintendo.

Why must we do this every time? What happened to that magical era when I was able to just saunter into a Fred Meyer a week after release and buy a Gamecube? Do you enjoy the hype and demand that gets built-up when people can barely find your system? What about the inevitable consumer rage? Are you really so conservative that you just don’t want to overproduce, even though the Switch launch quantities sold out in one day in the US? Have you ever heard of the concept of people actually being able to buy your thing?

I realize that my computer screen is not Nintendo. And that none of you are Nintendo. But I still needed to ask these questions of the ether, just to calm my inner gaming fan.

I know the Wii was different. The demand for that was monstrous, the price was dirt cheap for the time, and it came with an award-winning game for free in Wii Sports. So I bought the excuse that Nintendo just couldn’t keep up.

The 3DS had a decent launch…but I was able to get one about a week later thanks to regular restocks in my area. The 3DS has sold at a steady clip through its whole life(racking up something like an 65 million users), and remains hard to find to this day…but I still see them from time to time.

It seems like the Switch just isn’t getting restocked. At all. At least, so far. Granted, I live in the Pacific Northwest, not exactly the most populous part of the US. However, the appetite for new tech here is ridiculous to the point of insanity. You can’t walk five feet without tripping over someone using the latest flagship phone or bulky gaming laptop.

Plus Nintendo’s US headquarters is just a short drive away. One time, as a small child, I had my mom drive me there. I marched right up to the lady at the front desk and said “Excuse me, do you have a tour?” Her heart melted and died simultaneously when she had to tell me, regrettably, that they did not. I said “Okay thank you!” and marched right back out.

We are ready to buy more Switches, Nintendo. I am ready to buy a Switch. I have $300 right here I want to give you, and you don’t have any product to sell me.

I already spent my Switch budget once on headphones. If this keeps going I may no longer keep allocating Switch budgets. But there are just enough games coming that I am keeping up hope, at least for now.

Boy Nintendo, you sure did an amazing job selling me on your new Mario Kart, which is out at the end of April. I hope that I’ve found a Switch by then, or I’m going to wish I had never seen your stupid garbage trailer.

Written by

I do radio voice work by day, and write by day and night. I studied film and production. I love audio, design, and music. Also video games.

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