Starbucks Iced Skinny Mocha Review

Alex Rowe
2 min readJul 29, 2017

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Look, I get it.

Most of the best Starbucks drinks are filled with sugar.

Sugar can be fun! I sometimes spend weekends just bathing myself in sugar. Sugar sugar sugar everywhere all of the time.

But sometimes, you want a drink that isn’t filled with sugar that you can still pretend is filled with sugar. That way your liver and teeth get a break.

For those days, you might want an Iced Skinny Mocha.

They’re a little like a Vanilla Cold Brew that’s more bittersweet…and nothing like a real iced mocha.

Oh sure, the Iced Skinny Mocha looks chocolatey. It looks delicious and cold. It looks like a scrumptious, sugary thing.

But…it tastes kind of like coffee with a vague splash of chocolate and water.

It’s like someone took an iced mocha and ran it through a strainer and said, “Here you go.”

If this seems like I’m hating on it, I don’t mean to. I actually really like these. I started drinking them every so often about two years ago, when my friends gave me a weird look after I told them about my weekend sugar baths.

I hated the first one I tried.

It was bitter and it tasted too much like coffee.

When I was a coffee newbie, I didn’t want my coffee to taste like coffee…which makes zero sense, right? It’s like if I said “I’ll watch Sci-fi movies, but only if they’re not about space or aliens or science in any way.”

I’ve grown a lot since then(in mind not stature), and I actually really appreciate the taste of this drink. It doesn’t use the same fancy coffee that’s in the Cold Brew(tm), but if you want something that’s kind of like one of those but with a bit less caffeine and some bittersweet “fun”, check this out.

How did they achieve that slightly bittersweet taste? Why, with real chocolate….and the sweetener that everyone loves to hate, Sucralose!

Fortunately, it’s free of the weird chemical aftertaste that many other artificially-sweetened drinks possess. I think the coffee is the secret there.

Would I recommend you go out and get one now? No.

If you’re looking for a less-sugary Starbucks drink, then you should try their new tea first.

But if you’ve already tried five or six other Starbucks beverages, and you want a new weird slightly bitter non-sugary adventure that you won’t hate, check out the Iced Skinny Mocha.

Please click the heart if you made it this far, and then go tell your friends that you did it! When they look at you afterwards and they’re confused, at least you’ll know why.

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Alex Rowe
Alex Rowe

Written by Alex Rowe

I post commentary about gaming, tech, and sometimes music. I’ve written professionally about games since 2005. Look mom, I’m using my English degree!

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