Starbucks Iced Flat White Review

Like a bad photograph of a dear old friend.

Alex Rowe
2 min readSep 12, 2017

I like the Hot Flat White.

From now on I shall call that “The Good Flat White.”

And yes, I know that Starbucks Flat Whites aren’t real Flat Whites blah blah whatever coffee snobbery etc.

Let’s talk about this drink for a spell.

It looks like slightly off milk and it tastes like it, too.

I was shocked at the visual consistency of the drink when I grabbed it from the end of the counter. If you asked me to tell you, purely with my eyes, if this cup had any coffee in it…I would reply with a resounding no.

That’s not a great start for a coffee-containing beverage.

Even the most milkshake-like of Starbucks products will usually look like it might contain some coffee.

The Iced Flat White looks like someone just poured some cream and ice in a cup and called it good. It’s totally got coffee in it though…130mg of caffeine worth.

The taste is kind of like a Flat White if it were about 40 percent less good and also had ice in it. It’s enough to remind me that I like the Flat White…and that I’m drinking something else entirely.

I’m two-thirds of the way through drinking this thing now, and it still has that distrubing white milky color to it.

Past Alex ordered this drink through the Starbucks Mobile App(tm) because he wanted a change of pace. He remembered that he likes Flat Whites, that he hadn’t had one in a while, and that it was hot outside so an iced beverage would be more suitable.

Later tonight, Past Alex and I are going to have a chat.

The Starbucks Iced Flat White is not an amazing beverage. It’s a cold, milky, vaguely coffee-like thing with an aftertaste that reminded me of pretzels that made me keep making this face.

I didn’t hate it enough to not finish it. But I’m not going to order any more.

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